The older I get the more I realize that God speaks the loudest when I say NO.
I noticed a continuum of restlessness that exist within my yes'es. My yes seemed to produce a never ending run straight into a wall of disappointment that end in me searching through dark places and small spaces in hope for the next word of direction. However, within my no, it doesn't matter where I go it seem that God came down from heaven just to look for me, finding me in my times of hiding because I didn't want to do it. Everywhere I turned, another probe was yanking at the tail of my clothes, leaving me exposed.
I've seen the pattern of my failure, He asking. Me running. Him chasing. Me dodging. Him calling. Me answering, and then hanging up. He confirming. Me ignoring. This endless cycle of me thinking this cant be it, because I don't want to do it. Then its me emotionally drained and finally willing to say yes and then...
Its a conspiracy, I said, Yes, to be greeted by Chaos, and me fighting against the ocean with no safety vest. Me, drowning, in my sea of yes, and me complaining how its not fair that He chooses to occasionally speak and then its so quiet that I question if it was even Him. Or His voice is so random, that it takes me at least a week to see what he meant and understand the plan. Im convinced that i cant win for choosing to lose to the irritating nudge of my No nor can I win within my yes, at least not yet.
I'm still trying to buy time to figure this all out by choosing to snooze the internal alarm forcing me to get up again, only for me to run heart first into a dead in. So in this quest, I'm convinced that God speaks the loudest when I say No, Im telling you that I never knew that answering the call would be so hard to do, or maybe I should say that it would be so hard to get through to others around me, because they tend to think that my fate came from my yes and that they somehow could see what was better for me, that I didnt see. I feel that they believed my no was right and my yes was me choosing to make a mess of my life, denying the truth that it wasnt God at all. But no it was really me letting go of my own hand that was lead by my head, stubbornly pushing against the wind and rebelliously committed to the end.
Im trying to get you to understand that God speaks louder when you say No, because its him yelling at you, preventing you from running into incoming traffic. It's Him, using His words as hard knocks at the door of your heart before you forfeit your Destiny.
Your Yes, is the wind underneath your wings of belief that needs no explanation, just your leap within the skies of the promises of His word, already pre written, pre defined, and profound.
Your NO, helps you to hear the Father, God, prewarning you of danger in the most loving way by revealing Purpose with loving taps of confirmation.
But your Yes, drew up a contract and insured you that you win every time, with gentle kisses of I'm right here, all the time.
Yes! With your yes, you may encounter some close calls or some fender bumps, or maybe a head on collision, but you're covered. You won't die from your injuries nor will you have to pay for the stresses. It's within your alignment to your yes that you marry your destined places, and your steps are ordered within each moment.
Now the truth remains it's not that He's speaking more, it's that your obedience saves you a forever space within His yeses, and His eternal Blessings. It's that His Word resides, empowering life within you to remain, maintain, and be substained within the crevices of His faithfulness, but even in your No, He proves Himself, Relentless unwilling to let go.
*POINTS TO PONDER*
A. Your YES has to be tried, tested, and proven before you can be trusted.
(To whom much is given, much is required---Blessings are tied to your unwavering YES)
TRIED -Your YES is just a step towards obedience. Your YES says, Im willing to "try" it your way. However, there is a possibility that you may change your mind.
TESTED -The test displays how committed to the process you are and exposes your strengths and weaknesses as a student.
PROVEN - Your pursuit and consistency proves your faithfulness to the call.
TRUSTED - your decision to finish establishes you within the call
REWARDED - your stability which embodies your committment, patience, discipline, compliance and cosistentcy, rewards you.
B. Your No yeilds a response, the heart of God is stirred to a reaction, with He giving you a clearer view of your intended life. He understands your design and that you are most effective doing what you were designed to do. Therefore He beckons you to function according to planned, increasing divine activity in your life. This may come in the form of dreams, spiritual encounters, near death experiences, confirmation, words of knowledge etc.
C. God desires fulfillment, that was the purpose for your design. He will go to great lengths to get your attention by any means necessary. Embrace His call, say YES.
D. Each new level and every new season will require a yes. God measures your capacity pre design. He already knows what you can handle. Your destiny has been predetermined, therefore whatever you encounter, you have been equipped to overcome.
E. Your YES activates testing times, but you already have within you kingdom, consisting of every provisional blessing, every key to the arsenal cabinet for combat, and all knowledge and wisdom to be able to carry out God's Plan for your life, just don't give up.
I am yeilding to God and i am making a decision to say yes to the plan of God over my life. I am saying no to my own desire and i am choosing surrender over convience. I declare that the will of God for my life is being fulfilled and the prophetic word over my life is accomplishing what it has been sent out to do.
Lord i thank you for being a God that chooses me and pursues me relentlessly Forgive me for leading you on a chase. Help me to see my worth and the predestined plan and help me align to it. In Jesus Name, Amen!