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ASK: Perpetual Break ups

My girlfriend keeps breaking up with me and always assumes that I'm looking at someone else, what do I do? _Desperately Frustrated_

Hello Desperately Frustrated,

Your girlfriend is most likely insecure and need validation that the relationship is secure and that she has nothing to be worried about. Make sure that you are affirming her and make sure that she knows how you feel about her. Also set clear boundaries with her, making clear of your expectations of the relationship and that instability is not apart of that.

Communicate that effective communication is imperative and breaking up without a reasonable explanation is not apart of the understanding. Communicate to her that the instability makes for an unhealthy relationship and you are unwilling to participate in the relationships detriment due to the "on again, off again" syndrome. Clarify what each person want out of the relationship and the role that each person plan to play in the achievement of those goals, if they are within reason.

Also ask your girlfriend how you can help her feel more comfortable when around other women. However, make sure that you don't assume the responsibility of validating and encouraging a controlling nature that she may need to work through, just offer support in helping her overcome her possible fear of losing you.

***If this doesn't work and the instability continues, It may not be healthy to continue the relationship. Your girlfriend may need to speak to a therapist or a life coach to help her through her process of regaining stability in her emotions. If her instability is due to past unfaithfulness, a different approach may be more appropriate.


Have a question? Send me a message.

PLEASE NOTE: Please use advice at your own discretion, Belinda and her staff do not assume responsibility for your choice to implement advice.


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