CHURCH HURT
I have been fortunate to be asked to leave from churches that ive been apart of. I have attended four churches outside of my current church and each experience was unique. The first church i was asked to leave, was for acknowledging (as a teen) that I had been growing spititually outside of that church with a group of other young people at a different church. The second was for refusing to conform to ostersizing a friend who had been sexually violated by a leader. I must say, i have witnessed internal power struggles in leadership, serious misconduct amongst leadership and lay members as well as being misunderstood.
There were definitly painful seasons and a search for reasons, to believe that, God was in any of it. I battled with withdrawal and fought through depression and resolved at, "Church folk are fake". In my immaturity that was the lie that i believed. I wanted God, but I wanted nothing to do with "those" people. I felt judged, and i felt bambozzled. "Those people" that called themselves saints, were liars and hypocrites--- Isnt it something how the judgment we hate, we return with our perception of others. Nevertheless, i wanted out. I didn't fully understand, staking my hope in the God of my salvation and not having my salvation be connected to man.
CLASH OF CULTURE
The church...
The Bible says, you are the church. YOU. Your own body is a temple. YOU, all by yourself, represent the worship that's going on, on the inside of you, just like every individual represents their own inward church, and we have the responsibility of caring for and guarding our internal church, You are the watchman on the walls of your soul, and you must govern yourself to always be on watch.
Our understanding of church hurt must be revolutionize to the point of us taking the responsibility of identifying the true church, within others, as well as the one corporate church body, made up of others, under God. The bible warns us of the importance of testing the spirit to see if it is of Him, with reminders throughout scripture that warn us of people yelling out Lord Lord but He doesn't know them, and also we are warned of wolves in sheep clothing. The bible also reiterate the importance of knowing the God of your salvation, and knowing that He never fail, but humans can potentially fail you. Therefore the expectation must be realistic.
Many times we as individuals lack the ability to judge efficiently/ discerning if something isn't right, because of our immaturity, or we ignored the signs we discerned. The different corporate bodies of people that meet up within a building operate under a particular ethos, you have the responsibility of discerning that system before you commit.
There are times in your process of growth that what you may deem as wrong or judgmental, is really, a clash of culture which may affect your view. This is why its important that with acquiring commitment, seek to understand the culture first. If its something you cant get with, dont commit and don't attempt to connect.
Our walk with God, is season sensitive and certain cultural change in the wrong season can be detrimental. If you are a seeker, inquire a seeker sensitive environment, ie. look for environments that will nurture where you are and help you graduate to your next season.
MAD AT GOD
So CHURCH HURT, happened, because of "those church people" that you trusted? Well lets get technical, know that, you're not really mad at God, The ultimate church of one, that is made up of many members & how God identify His true church and those that are in communion with Him.
The truth is, you are mad at a person or persons that your inward individualized church fellowshipped with. Therefore, If you are going to be mad, at the church, be mad that you allowed your church to merge and mingle with their internal individualized denonmination.
You must know that there is and will always be more counterfeits that are more accessible than the authentic, real church, that wont hurt you, or maybe they will, break one of your legs to keep you from running into a den of wolves, but then place you around their neck and help you learn and identify the path of danger as you heal from the minor injury that just cost you a broken leg versus your rebellion costing you your life---- I dont know only you can answer that.
THOSE CHURCH PEOPLE
Yes, we the people make up a collective body, but the Bible is very clear on what that look like, and it tells us, that we must identify those that are apart of the true body, by their fruit. Did you do a fruit check? If you did, did you do a Root check, to make sure it was authentic and connected to the true vine?
You have a responsibility to examine what you are going to allow to influence your inward church mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Does or did, the fruit of their church, match the description of Christ Church, based on Bible and accurate interpretation? Could or can you taste the natural flavors of God fruit with true God roots or have your taste buds been compromised with artificial flavoring?
The only way to determine the root of the fruit, you have to learn how to distinguish the two. You have to study to show that you have proven insite and understanding to determine the truth of others roots. It start with you.
Do you have enough knowledge and understanding to appraise the authenticity of their produce?
Your truth may be that you were decieved, hurt, abandoned, etc., but dont blame an entire harvest grown in a different vineyard by the misjudgement of one ,two, or maybe ten, fake fruit that appeared real. You must sharpen your discernment, and mature. Your gag reflexes must be activated and fully functional to tell the difference, having an internal conviction as well as an internal reject that alert you when the fruit of what someone is saying doesn't coincide with biblical truth. You must also be able to identify the insects that eat away at good fruit as well as the cross catamination that can happen from one bad fruit. Yea, its kind of complicated but anything worth speaking up on is worth, first understanding it..
So you're probably right, "those church folk" were fake within their internal selves and private personal congregations, and within their own private clicks of personal ideological denominations. However, now you have the task of learning the difference, so that your church is no longer attracted to their type of church.
Check your fruit first, are you real or are you really good at seeing others faults. Make sure your're not attracting what's in you. Also make sure you are not the culprit, if you are disrupting a culture that "those people" have adapted too by attempting to force your belief, out of error of thinking that you have the task of changing their entire system, you are wrong, just go.
Or, God could be pruning you in an attempt to help you grow out of the confines of your world, so that you can know how to deal with difficult people.
No matter what's your truth, God works all things out for our good.
Don't withdraw, God uses challenges to change us, for a greater purpose. Dont stop corporate fellowship, but find what fits, God will lead you, trust God, not people. Know that, What the enemy meant for evil, God will turn it around so that it benefits you.
God has a remnant of authentic people waiting to embrace you.
Be encouraged!!!