I could hear my name being called amidst the blaring of my radio mid sentence within the words of the songs that I belted out. Within these walls of my space my joy had been interrupted by the sound of authority demanding my attention and commanding a response. I can remember those moments of yesteryears prior, the voice of my mother like a scratch within the memory of a record, sending me on an excursion to bring what she had asked for. Though the place where what she sought after, were marked with her words of assurance that it remained where she last layed it, I looked without prevail in a haste to discover what she desired so that I could return to my joy of endless Bliss cradled within the sounds of what I hoped for. I couldn't understand the why in her decision to ask me to get what belonged to her. Nor could I find the where in her instructions. Clearly it wasn't where she suspected, neither was there a trace of clues to where it could be. Oh well, failed attempt, my mind was renewed with the hopes of continuing my vacant state, and I perceived that it would be just as good as the last song that I heard before being interrupted, and forced to find what didn't exist. I had looked for it, yes I had searched, knocking down the contents of irrelevance, but within the chaos I found nothing.
Have you ever been there? Where there was a soul disturbance that beckoned you to shift outside of your zoned comfort. The place in your mind that was marked "familiar", where you stood secure in hope that if you believed more, learned more, focused more, and tuned everything else out, you will be propelled to the next level and enter into a new season. Have you ever been there? Where the gentle but authoritative voice that superseded your natural mental capacity bombarded your thoughts with words that were not your own but enveloped you into submission. Have you ever been there? In a place where you yielded and reacted to the leading of that inward guide, only to find, nothing. Have you ever wondered, how your obedience to what you knew was the right thing, produced, no results.
I can still remember the days of yesteryear vividly engraved in my cognizance, that my mom showed no mercy to my hopeless pursuit, and sternly instructed me to go look, again. What? How could she be so heartless, it only seemed right for her to get it herself. The pain of being drawn away from what I was doing, coupled with the pain of defeat from not finding what I was sent to find, annoyed me to avoidance. I had already looked and to my demise found nothing, it was gut wrenching to think that I again would be face with having to cope with the disappointment of an empty hope. I pondered how this could benefit me anyway, being forced to help another be rewarded by my sacrifice, plagued my perception. Nevertheless, I walked through the same door of my failure to, look again, to my surprise in front of my eyes was the prize of another, but somehow I felt rewarded, and a smile nearly covered my face as I handed my mom, her purse, and she in return handed me $20 bucks. I wondered... but she reminded me of my sacrifice and that she promised me a return on my invested chores.
In the same way, we may not understand why we feel compelled to do again what we viewed as a failed attempt, but know that there is purpose in your sacrifice.
The complexities of life are nestled between the time between promise and fulfillment, and are glued to the path of your existence. Nothing that you will ever do is meaningless, not even the times inconvenienced by the pain of your past or by what seem to be the agenda of another, not even the time spent searching, because within the search you discover your flawed self anxiously desiring a way of escape instead of patiently waiting for the reward. Within the search you discover, you, selfishly crowned with entitlement and frustration, but its within another look that you locate the promise fulfilled and your failed hopes healed by the truth of grace and mercy. Its in another look that the answer of your why is revealed, and the promise of your yes, manifest.
POINTS TO PONDER
A. God will interrupt your "normal" to get your attention sending you on search to find His purpose for your life. Their is a void that can only be filled with God's purpose for your life.
B. God will summons us to bring/utilize our gifts, but we are suppose to bring/offer them to Him so that He can bless it before we use them.
C. Often times we will go through seasons of searching out, and attempting to discover ourselves and our purpose and become tired of looking because nothing seem to fit. We may try to use what we've found but in our heart, we know that it's not it, therefore many of us return back to what we were doing because we've settled in on comfort living and thinking.
D. There is a misconception that our lives are our own, and therefore we become what we gravitate too. Too often people have become what they've seen and liked about someone else and have forsaken there individuality, because they became tired of trying to find and figure out their purpose.
E. You being sent to return to your search again, isn't punishment, but it's grace and mercy. It's God's desire that you receive what belongs to you.
F. The search for significance won't be easy, but it's worth it. You can only be defeated if you give up, the inevitable is that you win as long as you don't give up. Your mental stability is a weapon against failure.
A DEEPER LOOK
1. Our pain lives in our emotions, how we respond to inconvenience reveal the truth of our mental state. (When you identify instability that has surfaced out of inconvenience, its important that you process those emotions by putting the truth of who God says you are)
2. You will arrive at your reward quicker if you are obedient
(The truth is that the journey will take time, its not an overnight destination, but disobedience prolongs the process. We can identify if we may have walked in disobedience by examining our feelings and actions. Stubbornness, rebellion, selfishness, pride, anger, confusion, bitterness, unfairness, doubt, complaining, all hinder and positions us in disobedience.)
3. The time between the Promise & Fulfillment is called "The Test"
(The wait, is refining your character and purifying your heart. Its a period of testing to see if you are as ready as you think you are for the promise. Patience must become the attitude while you wait, faith must become your mindset, and obedience must become your posture)
4. God will never lead you where HIS grace wont keep you
(you will not lose your mind so don't lose heart. God is not going to lead you where you are tempted to compromise. God is a builder, He builds you up along the way, strengthening you where you are weak and providing an exit when you feel trapped.)
I declare that I am aligning to God's perfect will for my life. I am obedient, willing to do what is expected of me.
I declare that my life has meaning.
I declare that all things are working out in my favor even if I don't see it.
I declare that I am seeing meaning where I didn't see it before
I declare that today my promise is meeting fulfillment
God you are God, the creator of all, how excellent is your name in all the earth.
I ask that you forgive me for attempting to steward my own life, Align my will to yours and keep me walking in Your truth.
Keep me in pursuit of your plan for my life and open my eyes to see what I need to see.
In Jesus Name!